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Odd Jobs in an Odd Economy: A Reality Blog by Daniel McLeod
Pet Psychic
I can’t bear to break my mother’s heart. A few years ago I moved back in with my folks and bounced around from odd job to odd job in that all-to-common post-grad limbo. It seemed like luck was not in my future: the economy was crapping the bed and every entry-level job I found required at least three years prior experience.
Think about that for a minute. You can’t get the entry-level job without experience, but how do you get experience without the entry-level job? If Dante was alive today and just graduated with an English degree, I’m sure he’d add a tenth ring to his Inferno. It would be full of job-seeking philosophy majors reading classified ads and losing their minds.
Regardless, there I was writing dining reviews for a local rag, substitute teaching, mowing my old man’s lawn, and dressing as a giant rodent in the mall. The entire time my mother watched in the background, foot tapping as she waited for me to rake in loot with a professional job, get a new car, find a wife, buy a starter mansion and start populating the world with mini-mes.
It didn’t quite work out that way.
It still hasn’t.
Four years later I’m working a decent human service gig and bringing in some extra scratch with my freelance writing. I’m fairly certain, though, that it will be a while before that glass mansion on the hill is mine - maybe a couple lifetimes.
I suspect my willingness to forego the bling isn’t flying well with my mom and it may just be breaking her heart. Rather than be that guy, I think I’ve found a way out, a largely untapped vein that will be my ticket to the stars. Hear me out - I have a plan.
Right now the market is flooded with doctors and lawyers all driving down their collective value, but how many pet psychics do you know? That’s right: none. I’ve found my ace in the hole!
Just think how many opportunities there are in the field – dogs, horses, ferrets, canaries – you name ‘em, people tame ‘em. I’m thinking I’ll found a new specialty, one I’ll call “Intuitive Geology”. I’m sure there are legions of baby boomers out there, pockets jingling and willing to give a fortune to get back in touch with their youth. I’ll be the guy to reconnect them on the spiritual plane with their pet rocks.
Yep, I’ve found my vocation.
Tomorrow I’m quitting my day job to take the plunge. My mom will be so relieved!